A simple thought, which changed the way I think

"What we dislike most in ourselves is what we accuse others of being."

This quote rattled my thought process. I was left recovering, all alone, in the corners of my room, which now felt like a hospital ward to me. My mind was completely numb after almost 3 hours of constant mental debate.

Does this mean we are what we see others as? Doesn't this make me a warehouse of all the defects I keep running from? Ain't I the biggest hypocrite alive then?

The self loathing kept increasing as the mind kept asking questions, the answers to which, were not very soothing either. The more I tried to defend my ego, the more powerful the quote seemed to be. It was lashing me up inside my brain. It made me recall every negative statement I had ever made for anyone. Suddenly, I was in an apologetic mood. My inside was crumbling and I was saying sorry to every person whom I had criticised over these 21 years, all inside my head. I found it difficult to accept but it seemed quite logical to me at the same time.

It even seemed to follow the law of attraction. The law of attraction simply states that whatever thoughts we send out to the universe, we get it back. So, when we let out negative thoughts for others, we were actually attracting them back at us. Thus, making us what we think of others.

Even from the point of view of Karma, it seemed perfectly meaningful. You reap what you sow. What goes around, comes back around. Maybe this was God's own way to make sure we never said anything ill about anyone. He wanted us all to be pristine like a kid, but all we turned out to be was, a vituperative, ill mannered, discourteous little imp.

The weird vacuum right at the centre of my chest kept growing with every thought. I had to stop, someway... anyway!! I didn't know how. I tried to take deep breaths, but every breath contributed to the suffocation. I was feeling claustrophobic in the comforts of my very own room. I tried drinking some water, it helped, but only for a few seconds. 

Then the thoughts started to become more objective- Am I judgemental? Am I a bit too happy-go-lucky? Do I care for others' needs? Do I value the love I get from my close ones? Am I too unsympathetic at times? Am I selfish? Am I snobbish? Am I.. ? Am I.. ??

I don't know how and when, but between all this commotion, somehow, I felt asleep.

The next morning was a relief, the headache had disappeared, the chest seemed lighter and the vision was less blurry. In fact, the day seemed a lot more brighter than it was. I had solved one of the biggest mysteries of life and everything seemed far less complicated. I knew now, that for eternal happiness and for others' appreciations, all we needed to do, was to love and appreciate them back. It's like a cycle of joy. A ball which just needs to be rolled, and then it'll keep rolling.

"Happy feelings will attract more happy circumstances" ~The Secret