Arranged Marriages - A true reflection of our modernisation..

Marriages are said to be made in heaven, but in a typical Indian society, only our parents seem to possess the visionary powers to see this great bonding between two people. The parents have the special ability to foresee the future and the compatibility between two people in one look whereas the concerned children can’t be sure about the future even if they have spent years together now. 

The world has changed a lot in the last decade. Saddam Hussein was killed in public, Osama was shot dead, India’s population increased by a few millions, Apple Inc’s liquid assets increased more than the US’s government - but marriages are still ‘arranged’ in India. The age old formula of meeting the to-be bride’s and groom’s families. Exchanging pleasantries, serving cholesterol filled - arteries blocking food, praising each other’s under achieved, over grown families and then the children are sent out to “talk in private” while the “Adults” of the two families can fix a price on their children’s freedom. Now this can create a controversy as I am talking about the dowry in an informal language. And as we all know, asking for dowry is a punishable offence in India. For this very reason, people don’t ask for dowry, they ask for “things which will make the life of our children easy in future”. Such a sophisticated way of fulfilling one’s greed just because the groom’s father’s X chromosome was dysfunctional in the embryo. A privilege the bride’s father does not enjoy. It really shows the maturity of brains which decide the children’s future. But who am I to go against the culture our society has preserved for centuries. This is the ‘paramparaa’ which I need to imbibe in myself. How delightfully exciting! 

The parents ask their children to meet each other so that they get to know their future partner in the one meeting after which they need to give their assent. We are also supposed to take it for granted that the other person will be their own self in the all important one time meeting and they will not just try to be nice and lovable. How delightfully convincing! All our lives we are taught not to talk to strangers and one fine day they ask us to marry one. 

The irony starts now, in spite of all the negatives, the criticisms; the arranged marriages seem to work just fine. All the married couples seem to agree on the fact that they were mature enough to adjust and mould their life according to their partner. This in turn only made the bond of love between them stronger and everlasting. 

Arranged marriages, for me, is like a game of cards in which you gamble with all your chips. If the outcome is in your favour, it gives you manifold returns; but if you lose, you have nothing left to continue with.