That Dreadful Day..

There are a few things in life which seem absolutely useless. No matter how much you try to involve them in your daily life, they are simply of no use. For example Rahul Gandhi, the presence of nipples on the body of a man, the warning signs on the packaging of cigarettes, law and order in Uttar Pradesh, the F7 key on your keyboard, garbage-bins on Indian pavements, a diet chart, self-help books, Uday Chopra and geckos. One can still argue that Rahul Gandhi was made to join politics so that one day he could ensure a strong government comes into power, his opposition! But how can you justify the presence of geckos in your house? They do not perform any activity which could not have been possible without their existence. 

An average house gecko lives for about 20 years, which it spends doing nothing but eating mosquitoes, other small insects and its own skin- which it sheds every 4 weeks. Between the sumptuous meals- it copulates, excretes in every corner of your room and makes noises weirder than the ones you hear at a Bengali wedding. Clearly, none of the above is something so distinct and important that this world has to witness its constant presence right from the Jurassic era. The mosquitoes can be taken care of by using mosquito repellents in our homes. For small insects, we can use various domestic insecticides. We can also definitely do without having to clean its poop every day. 

Also, ridding the geckos from this planet will ensure that these geckos never again enter our cars and sit quietly in a corner, away from the sight of every passenger; waiting for the car to start and for the passengers to lose themselves in the conversations that usually follows, stealthily coming out in the open, craning its neck above the edge of the rear-view mirror and staring at you with its glassy eyes. That moment, when you notice its eyes staring at you and assess the very high probability that it might jump from the rear-view mirror onto your lap any second, is enough to distract you to one of the ugliest motorcar-accidents of all times. But if you still manage to keep your wits and park the car safely to one side of the road, it vanishes by the time you start looking for it to shoo it away. Life’s most challenging task is to muster enough courage to enter back in that car, still unsure whether the gecko is hiding inside or did it jump out at the same instant you fled! Well, when it happened with me, I was clearly the superhero that day. 

Until and unless these geckos contain in themselves the cure of AIDS or cancer, I sincerely hope they cease to exist, at least in and around my home. Uday Chopra is more bearable then these slimy skinned creatures. God, are you listening?