Men - the largest stereotype!

“Why should boys have all the fun?” Well, clearly this jingle is the brainchild of some dreamy eyed girl, born and brought up in our very own Indian society, who thinks that being a guy is all fun and no hardships. Being a boy, I feel compelled to clear this wrong notion nurturing inside the head of every female.

Firstly, I would like to ask, what on Earth made you think that a boy’s life is all fun? Let me try and clear this wrong idea by a few examples:

I.                   The Super-Hero Syndrome: Every guy is supposed to act like a superhero who is absolutely unperturbed by the presence of an insect, reptile or ghosts. (Needless to mention, only in front of girls!) Why can’t a guy be afraid of a cockroach, a lizard, a spider or boogeyman? Why does he need to be there to shoo these creatures away? You think it is easy to pretend to be heroic in front of a lizard, sitting at a corner, looking at you through its glassed-eyes, flicking its tongue inside and outside continuously, with its slimy and scaly skin, the crooked tail and hideous claws. Trust me, it is not! It takes a lot of courage to not let that fear show on our faces, and none of it is ‘FUN’. Why am I laughed at if I feel scared while watching a horror movie? The name itself suggests that it is supposed to scare you.

II.                 Man of Steel: Being a guy is all about being ruthless, unemotional and hard as steel. Guys are not expected to be human in this regard, I feel. What happens when a guy feels emotional while watching a very sad movie? Why cannot a man cry and express his emotions openly? I thought emotions were what made us different from animals; and if by showing our emotions openly, we are unconsidered unmanly, then are not men animals? Why cannot a man watch a light-hearted chic-flick for a change?  Everything has been stereotyped to the core.

III.              Colour Avert: Bright colours have become a ‘girls only’ category of products. Although this is slowly and surely changing, but still colours like pink are considered either girly or gay. Why cannot a man like pink, and be straight at the same time? Which biological theory connects sexual orientation to the fondness towards one particular colour? If there exists one, please enlighten us! Why cannot a guy buy a car (normal car, not a sports car), or a scooter which is yellow or green and not be laughed at? Why are the colourful helmets and sunglasses a ‘girls only’ product?

IV.              Handy Man: Why are boys stereotyped as handy men? Like every boy, even a commerce graduate or a humanities graduate, has to know everything about engineering! I agree that most of us know the basics of electricity and can work as a part-time mechanic, but all of us are NOT engineers!!

Such expectations from all guys are not from girls only, but from guys as well. We all know that one ‘overly manly man’ who will go to any depths or heights to prove his manliness. Such people will expect every guy to be a superhero and will claim “mard ko dard nahi hota”. Such people need a reality check as every man is not made the same. How does a particular phobia or aversion to a particular kind of colour, music or genre of movies make anyone a true MAN!? Why has been a MAN so stereotyped?

“Men are actually the weaker sex” ~ George Weinberg (Psychologist)

Death ?!

Darkness is absence of light.

Cold is absence of heat.

Sorrow is absence of happiness.

And death is absence of life…

Life is not breathing. Life is not blinking. Life is not the beating heart. Life is a concoction of light, warmth and happiness. Life is a mixture of love, smiles and companionship.

We seldom give light the due credentials until we’ve been in blinding darkness. We hardly give the small joys the required attention unless we’ve seen heart-breaking sorrow from close quarters. Similarly, we never give this life the love it deserves until and unless we know that death is about to overcome and capture it.

Imagine yourself clutched in the dark and cold fingers of death, its gnawing jaws closing in on you. Watch yourself locked in the dark cells of eternal solitude and sorrow. Feel the stench of fear nearing you with every breath.

Now close your eyes and think about the life that you will leave behind. Think about all the small little things you nag about day and night. Think about the small bickering you have with all your near and dear ones. Think about the tantrums and ego clashes you have with all the people around you. Think about the relationships you wanted to get over and the ones you ended. Think about the people you never said hello to after the small fight you had. Think about the goals you will leave behind unfulfilled. Think about it all, as death comes near with its shadow cast upon your future.

“Death is not extinguishing the light; it is only putting out the lamp because the dawn has come.” ~Rabindranath Tagore 

The Wearisome Traveller

The weary traveller sat down with his load,

The road had been ever unkind,

Crushed the soul of the dreamy eyed,

He who trode for years but could not find..

The search took him to many places,

Brothels, theatres, taverns, et al,

But he could not pinpoint any one thing,

He spent his money, and youth along..

Tired but never broken,

He kept walking in spite of falling down,

With faith in heart and grit in mind,

With scraped knees, but without a frown..

Years and years had passed like this,

When one day he reached a place so secluded,

He saw a girl when he was about to die,

And found the love that had him so eluded..!!

~Saurav Goyal

Loneliness

Loneliness is considered pretty much as a disease in today’s world. Although it is intriguing as to why it is so? Single people (in general) and people who enjoy their solitude (in particular) are seen as some alien breeds who don’t know how to enjoy their life. Everything is custom designed for two people or more; cars, bikes, theatre seats, custom menu in fast food joints (meal for two, meal for three), for God’s sake nowadays even watches and perfumes come out in pairs. The aversion shown towards lonesome people is hurtful and condescending.

Why cannot a person go for a movie alone? Eat his meals alone at a cafe without a set of cutlery lying unused at the other end of the table? Drive alone in peace without the ‘seat belt for the passenger seat unfastened’ continuously blinking in front of the eye? Why cannot a person go online and surf without ‘meet single girls in your area’ pop-ups coming after every click of the mouse? We are born human, not humen! It is not necessary that we hang out in more than one.

I'm yet to come across a seat for a single person in a park, it is always a bench! There are no tables for a single occupant in a cafe. This has become a world dominated by the power of two. ‘Buy 2, get 1 free’, ‘Hum do, humaare do’. Reach the age of mid 20s and the whole family starts pestering you to get married. The first question on everybody’s mind is “Are you seeing someone?” When did staying single become such a big social stigma? If you live alone, it is either because you’re in a long distance relationship, or you’re a serial killer. Go drinking alone and the bartender gives you special attention as you must be in an emotionally broken state of mind.

If you tell your family and friends that you are planning a trip alone, they’ll give you the most sympathetic look, as if they just found out that you are suffering from a terminal disease and they can do nothing to help you survive. Single people should be given their space and time; just because they are single does not imply that they are always free and jobless.

The only people who really understand single people are the video-game developers.  They see such people not as a chronic disease infecting the society but as an important part of the society and economy. They should be given grants and subsidies by the government for targeting the most valuable and under-appreciated segment of the society.

"You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with." ~Wayne Dyer 

Terrorism - A national shame

Yet another series of bomb-blasts rock the country. Yet again innocent people of this country lie dead and battered on the streets of a metropolitan city. Yet again the government is unable to provide basic security to its citizens. In spite of the technological advancements in the defence mechanism, the intelligence bureaus, the repeated reminders by terrorist organisations; nothing in this country has changed over the years. The ministers, corrupt and useless as always, live under the secure blanket of Z+ security, while the citizens who elect them and fund their security through their hard earned money by paying taxes, live under the constant threat of losing their lives at the next corner of the road.  

Forget the distant past; if we only look into the last decade, there have been more than 20 bomb blasts in Mumbai and Pune alone, excluding the coordinated attack of 26/11/2008. Then there are the bomb blasts in Delhi, around 10 in the last 10 years. Not to forget the intense gun fight between the Lashkar-e-Taiba militants and the Indian police in Ayodhya in 2005 and the series of bomb blasts in Varanasi in 2006 and 2010. A series of explosions also rocked the garden city, Bengaluru, in 2005 and 2008.

The list is never-exhausting; these are only the number of blasts. The number of people who lost their lives is huge. The only mistake these people did was to get birth in a country where human lives are neither valued, nor respected by its ministers and government.

The blasts which took place today in Hyderabad are a cold reminder that we are still not safe in our own country. These terrorists hit at will, unperturbed by the security agencies of the country or the law of the land. This is a smack in the country’s face which promotes non-violence and brotherhood. It is a smack in every citizen’s face who roam around in their own backyard freely and with a feeling of safety.

The ministers will now come out with a figure in Lakhs to be given to the families of the dead or injured as compensation. A compensation for being born and dying in a country where the ministers are more focussed on filling their pockets than providing security to its citizens. The attacker could have been anyone, Lashkar-e-Taiba, Indian Mujahideen, Taliban, Jaish-e-Mohammad, Jaimat-ul-Mujahideen, Maoists, Al-Qaida. The bottom line is that they live in this country, or enter this country, plot an attack, and roam scot-free the very next day without guilt or remorse. The family members keep the memories of the deceased alive in their hearts forever, thinking that one day the attacker will be punished. That one day the victim’s death will be redeemed when the guilty is hanged to death. But the sad truth is that even if the terrorist is captured, he will be assassinated by his own men, inside the prison; a death which is not enough for such murderers; a death which they do not deserve.

“In India we only read about death, sickness, terrorism, crime.” ~Abdul Kalam

Jim Corbett

Imperturbable, serene, tranquil, unruffled, placid, no matter how many synonyms one uses, giving a description to the dense forests of Jim Corbett National Park is humanly implausible. The crystal clear waters that flow in the bordering rivers are an elixir of life for the sore eyes of the city dwelling people. The pollution free environment is good, both for the body and the soul. The outermost part of the jungle is covered by Sal trees and mostly grasslands which have an abundant population of the varied species of Deer; the spotted-deer, the barking deer, the barasingha and Asia’s largest deer, the sambar deer. The winter season witnesses a huge population of birds which migrate to northern India from the European continent. 

The inner parts of the jungle are dense, dark, cold, wet and SCARY. There are no proper roads inside the forest. The monsoon-rivers and streams which wash away the soil and leave stones and rocks on the bed are used as roads in most parts. In some parts, the thicket has been cleared for passing of gypsies. Every turn and twist inside the core area of the Park is a scary reminder of the unknown which lies ahead. The terrain is highly uneven with grassland leading to hills which end in a sudden cliff or open to small rivulets which make the roads bumpy and slippery. There are tens and hundreds of small ponds and reservoirs of water inside the wilderness which act as the perfect hunting spot for the hungry tigers. The deer usually come to these small water bodies to quench their thirst where the tiger waits patiently to pounce on the harmless animal and satisfy its hunger. 

The jungle is usually filled with the voices of birds, insects and various animals. But once the royal tiger growls to prove its dominance over the forest, a pin drop silence prevails in the wilderness. The tiger, the most ferocious animal in the wild, whose every step, is signalled by the monkeys hanging by the trees. The monkeys act as an alarming agent to the rest of the forest, cautioning them about the direction of the tiger’s advancement. The deer clearing the vicinity to save their lives; but everything they do fall short compared to the aggression and ferocity of the full grown tiger. 

The dense interiors, where even the sun struggles to land its rays, where the wind breaks due to the in-numerous barriers in its way, where the water doesn’t evaporate due to the lack of heat and the extreme cold, the elephant rules the area; kicking anything in its way, clearing forests on will, uprooting shrubs, eating fruit-filled trees. But once the tiger enters the dense jungle area, the elephant starts hitting the ground with its trunk out of fear and starts running here and there, confused and scared. A tiger proves too worthy an opponent even for the gigantic mammal. Its walk, its stance, its growl, its mere sight is nerve cracking, even for the most brave-heart of all. It truly deserves to be the King of the Jungle. 

“When a man wants to murder a tiger he calls it sport; when a tiger wants to murder him he calls it ferocity.” ~George Bernard Shaw