Happy young boy!

Let me narrate to you a story,

About a happy young boy;

He lived with his extended family,

Wealthy and full of joy.

Grew up- studied well,

Never knowing where to go;

So always did what was expected of him,

Just kept his head low.

Soon he realised,

Life isn't just shades of grey;

As he stepped out of his bubbled life,

He thought it was better to be somewhere away.

But a leap of faith is a leap nonetheless,

Not everyone always make it through;

Decided to stay where he was,

And the feeling of not-belonging just grew.

Mediocrity gave way to disappointment,

Pent up emotions made him anxious;

When approval never came from close quarters,

The never fading want of it made him obnoxious.

He was told he wasn't good at ANYTHING,

Not even at being a son;

Maybe that is when depression beared its teeth,

Sucked up all the joy and dried up all the fun.

He decided to fight these monsters head-on,

He wasn't going to lay his arms down;

But little did he realise,

Accepting the presence of these monsters was enough for all to scorn and frown.

Alone once again -with his enemies inside him,

He chose to battle for his life;

His strength to defeat his own vices,

Became a reason for outside strife.

Every good story should end with a moral,

Well his is a little too true;

Tears, loneliness and struggle is the bleak reality,

Why else do you think the sky above is always blue!

~Saurav Goyal

Anxiety, Piety!

I do not know how to explain it,

When I'm asked about my anxiety.

It is like every other feeling you get,

Can you describe to me fear, or your piety;

You hear noises, in my head I feel them;

You see tears or sadness, I taste them;

You distract yourself with reels and texts;

My body crashes like your phone's dying battery;

My hands, they shake; my arms go completely numb;

My eyes see only darkness ahead; and my legs under me, succumb!

You ask me about my anxiety,

And I'll never know how to explain.

Have you been gripped with an unwarranted fear,

That stepping out of your room might end your life?

Have you been so physically drained in bed,

That you are not sure if it is morn or time to switch off the lights?

Do your thoughts of self-help,

Every leave you dotted on your skin?

Do you ever want to speak up- or shout -

But you can't find your tongue, your voice, or how to even begin?

I know it's all in my head;

Just like the cholesterol around your heart.

But your wishes for them to go, alone

Wouldn't take you very far!

You can either help me, or leave me be,

Where do you see the scope of a middle ground?

I would never leave you, though;

If you were to develop an ulcer in your fucking mouth!


~Saurav Goyal